Dean Guitars Michael Schenker Signature Retro guitar.

For all the Michael Schenker fans. This is the newest release from Dean Guitars that is just in time for NAMM. Has a scale made for string benders and shredding maniacs!

Check out Dean's site for this guitar!

• Mahogany Top / Body
• 24-3/4" Scale
• Set Mahogany C Neck
• Rosewood Fingerboard
• Pearl Dot Inlays
• Grover Tuners
• Nickel Hardware
• Tune-O-Matic Bridge
• USA Dean DMT Michael Schenker "Lights Out" Bridge Pickup
• Dean DMT Design Neck Pickup
• Finishes: Black & White

Musician Jokes: Looking for someone special who would kill my drummer

I deleted the expletives to keep a clean rating! ;)

For the funny file.....

Subject: This was actually on Craigslist

Looking for someone special who would kill my drummer for $100.00.
Do not fear any negative consequences for this act. any self respecting law enforcement agency would gladly turn the other cheek once they hear this guy "play". I am tired of hearing his 70's style fills put in the wrong spot and ending one half beat early or late depending on how much he's had to drink. I am tired of him standing up behind his drums between songs and ripping his shirt off and flexing his muscles at wedding receptions where we were hired to play Air Supply, carpenters , and Ann Murray songs because "chicks dig the pecs, dude". I am tired of him showing up 20 minutes late for rehearsals then pouting until someone helps him load in his drums, then taking 30 minutes to set them up and needing a smoke break every 15 minutes, then wanting to leave early because"this chick is so fine, I can't say no, and she knows record people dude, so it's for the band" I am totally done with him calling me up at midnight to play me some damned jazz fusion album from 1981, crying and saying how we shouldn't have sold out to "the man"and asking if I know anyone who can get him some weed knowing full well I smoked twice in 69 and never touched it after that. I am sick of him farting on stage where the drum mics pick it up and thinking this shit is funny. I am tired of kicking off slow ballads at well under 80 bpm only to have them morph into the methamphetamine version of flight of the bumble bee, because that's the tempo he "feels" it at. I am tired of having to carry jumper cables to the gig because "I must have left the dome light on again, dude"instead of admitting his 84 Oldsmobile is a worn out piece of crap. I am tired of him asking when he's gonna get a drum solo. I am tired of paying his tab at restaurants because "that chick must have stole my wallet man, but it was worth it 'cause she was a phreak". I will not move my amp again so he can put another new cymbal on the stage, because "when we learn some fusion I'll need this sound".........please somebody kill this motherxxxxer. I can't do it because he's my brother and mom would be so pissed off even though she thinks the band would probably sound better too. Besides, if you are good at killing drummers, you could probably make a lot of money in this town.

Guitar Repair Prices and Rates

Guitar repair price guidelines from Wackerman's Musical Instrument Service Center

Minimum bench charge - $15

Maintenance and setup - $40 plus string cost (varies on string type)
Includes the following:
String removal
Clean and polish fretboard and frets
Clean Body
Check tuners, Check bridge, nut, tail-piece and electronics
Adjust truss rod
Balance tremolo
Lube
Test and play

Maintenance and Setup with fret dress, clean and fit nut - $80 plus string cost

Restring and tune only (6 string) - $15 plus strings
Restring and tune only (12 string) - $20 plus strings
Adjust neck - $15
Set Intonation - $15
Fret dressing - $40 to $60
Complete refret - $225 to $300
Partial refret (add $40 for dressing too) - $17 each + $40
Install new nut (6 string)- $45
Install new nut (12 string)- $65
Saddle (custom made) - $45
Install Tuners $15 to $40 plus parts

Neck Repair
Heat-straighten neck - $40
Plane and refret - $275 - $350
Reset neck (acoustic) - $225
Repair broken peghead $50 - $80
(with touch up) $125 - $150

TOP REPAIRS (ACOUSTIC)
Replace entire top - $750 to $1000
Replace bridge plate - $150 - $200
Remove and re-glue bridge - $80
Custom make new bridge, install (6 string) - $80
Custom make new bridge, install (12 string) - $115
Crack repairs - $40 to $220, ($20 per inch)
Setup acoustic guitar - $25 plus strings (price of strings vary by brand)

ELECTRIC GUITAR REPAIRS
Replace potentiometer - $25 plus pot (switch not smoke!)
Replace selector switch - $30 plus switch cost
Install mini toggle switch - $35 plus switch cost
Install output jack - $20 plus jack cost
Replace toggle switch (strat, Les Paul, etc...) - $25 plus switch cost

ACOUSTIC GUITAR PICKUP INSTALLATION
Transducer under the saddle(Gold Plus, 332 Thinline) - $50
Sound hole w-endpin jack - $35
Pre-amp (cut side hole install pickup) - $100 and up!

ELECTRIC GUITAR PICKUP INSTALLATION
One pickup - $30
Two pickups - $35
Three pickups - $40

All prices are subject to change

OLGA Guitar Tabs

Searching for this site can be frustrating. Finding guitar tab online is super helpful in regard to learning the basics of songs. The cool thing about this was that it was user submitted and subject to interpretation. This site inspired a lot of people to learn how to play more songs and also how to transcribe guitar songs.Long ago OLGA received orders to take down their Guitar tablature and sheet music site. Click here to read the statement regarding legalities limiting Olga access.

When you click on this link, I've already done the hard work by figuring out which ones have dead-end links, so you can forget about 1996-Feb 02 2001; begin by clicking on Feb 26 2001 onward. Be warned, though: you may still encounter dead links so good luck when you find something that interests you!

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.olga.net/

Rules for Playing Jazz

1. Everyone should play the same piece.

2. Observe the repeat signs only if what you just played was interesting.

3. If you play a wrong note, glare at one of the other players.

4. The right note, at the wrong time, is a wrong note. (And vice-versa.)

5. A wrong note, played timidly, is a wrong note.

6. A wrong note, played with authority, is simply your interpretation of the phrase.

7. If everyone gets lost except you, follow the ones who are lost.

8. Strive always to play the maximum notes per second. This will intimidate the weaker players and gain you the admiration of the ignorant.

9. Markings for slurs, dynamics, and accidentals should be completely ignored. They are only there to make the score look more complicated.

10. If a passage is difficult, slow down. If it is easy, speed up. Everything will even itself out in the end.

11. You have achieved a true interpretation when, in the end, you have not played one note of the original piece.

12. When everyone else stops playing, you should stop also. Do not play any notes you may have left over.